Life really is a complex and beautiful journey, filled with moments of love and hardship, hoorays and trials. For me, my life's journey has been a rich complexity of experiences that have shaped me into the person I am today; from the very highs of moments to the very low’s. Through it all, I've come to realize that God plays a significant role in my life, he’s guided me through the maze of existence and brought light to even the darkest corners of my life. In this article, I want to share my story, to shed light on the remarkable transformation that God has been working on in my life, and to emphasize the profound impact that giving your life to Christ can have on your journey. In the end, I believe It's not about achieving perfection, it’s an invitation to a better life.

Threads of Experience

Our lives are made up of countless threads of experiences, woven together to create a unique story. These threads represent the highs and lows, the love and sorrows, the victories and defeats. They are the moments that shape us and mold our character, helping us navigate the complex emotions and challenges that life throws our way. My life has been no exception to this rule. I've experienced moments of pure joy like the day I gave my life to Christ, the birth of Lavelle, and the love I've shared with family and friends. However, I've also faced difficult times, including depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. It was during these challenging moments that I found myself searching for something more significant in my life. In those moments I felt like I was wandering through a maze of darkness, with no light to guide me and no one to show me the way out. Till one day I felt a nudge from the Holy Spirit telling me it was time to give my life back to Christ, so I began to explore my relationship with God again. I started to deepen my connection with God through prayer, reflection, reading the Bible, and worship, all of this was I way for me to regain the happiness and love that my soul had been long searching for. Through my pursuit of Christ, I could feel the darkness starting to recede, and I found a guiding light(God) that helped me navigate the maze of life's challenges. It felt as if I was no longer doing life by myself but with God, I found a reason to look beyond myself and rediscover what love is really like. I discovered a sense of purpose and a newfound strength to face whatever life threw my way. Through my faith journey, I've come to realize that God's transformative power is not limited to one person or one specific situation. It's a universal truth that transcends individual experiences. The wonderful thing about faith is that it is a beacon of hope that can guide anyone who is willing to seek it.

My journey of self-discovery and faith began in two distinct worlds—Nigeria and Rialto, California. I was born in Nigeria, a place rich in cultural heritage and tradition, and later raised in Rialto, California, a bustling city with its unique set of experiences. Growing up in a Catholic household, my early years were steeped in religious tradition. Church attendance was a regular practice, but my relationship with God was more of a secondary consideration in my life. This article traces my path from a place of misplaced faith in people and the world to the realization that true solace and understanding could only be found through a personal connection with God.

Childhood in California

Moving to California with my parents and twin brother opened up a world of possibilities, as we embraced life in our new home. However, despite being in a family that regularly attended church, and praised the Lord all through the weekdays my connection with God remained superficial. The love and companionship of my family, the excitement of the world around me, the friendships I formed, and my sense of self-worth all took precedence over my relationship with God. I placed my faith in people and experiences, not realizing that this choice would eventually lead to my internal turmoil. I was the girl who looked for validation in the words that people would say and I would seek joy when someone told me good job or keep it up, or I look beautiful and when their words weren’t so pleasing it would also shift my mood. I placed my happiness and self-worth in what others had to say about me, instead of affirming in myself what and who God knows and created me to be. In Psalms 139, God tells each of us that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made meaning, that I need not take joy from the pleasures of what others may think about me because the one who created me has created me out of love and he affirms in me that I am perfectly imperfect just the way I am and if that isn’t something to be joyful about then I don’t know what is. It didn’t take me till much later in life, when I gave my life to Christ for me to realize that placing my hope in people (which are all inherently flawed) was a recipe for disappointment. People, myself included, make mistakes, and often fall short of expectations. As I looked for support and affirmation from friends and family, I discovered that relying on people for validation was a shaky foundation. As humans and even as kids we look to other people, our parents, friends, or teachers seeking that good job, or that well done but God tells us in 1 Thessalonians 2:4 Let's each decide to seek God's approval above the approval of men so we can continue to walk in His calling and fulfill the purpose that He has for our lives.” Meaning that no man or woman can affirm God’s plans for our lives only God. As a result of seeking validation from the world, I was left confused and frustrated with myself and the world. I had invested my faith in the human condition, which was inherently imperfect. And I’m not saying to not give words of affirmation to the people you love because one of my love languages is words of affirmation, I think the problem wherein lies when you place their words above your self-worth. For my most of life, and still till this sometimes(but not as much as I used to) still struggle with deriving my identity and sense of self-worth from external sources, That constant craving for validation and acceptance made me vulnerable to the fluctuations of human opinion and It soon become a heavy burden to bear, and I soon found myself weary and tired from trying to live up to the expectations of others. And in doing so I lost myself in the process. I was going through an identity crisis it was a struggle to stand firm in my own identity amidst the expectations of others. Not being firm in your own identity of who you are can cause you to chip away at parts that make you you and replace them with other people’s versions of who they want or expect you to be. It was during my college years, seeking validation in relationships, sports, and friendships, that the grace of God intervened. Amidst the chaos I had created, God reminded me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and there was no need to seek the world's approval when the Creator of the world already knew and loved me exactly as He created me.In discovering my identity as a child of God, cherished and valued, I found a profound sense of self-worth that surpassed any external affirmation. The journey to California had indeed opened up a world of possibilities, but the most significant transformation occurred within as I embraced the truth of God's love for me.

For many young adults, the transition to college represents a period of newfound freedom, self-discovery, and growth. However, my freshman year in college became a turning point in my life, although not in the best way I had envisioned, but then again everything happens for a reason. In college I found myself at a crossroads, lacking a clear sense of self-identity, and this vulnerability allowed the world to dictate the course of my life. In this article, I'll share my journey of falling into a troubling lifestyle and losing myself, only to later find redemption and self-worth through faith and self-discovery.

Identity Crisis

As I stepped onto the college campus, I was excited about the prospect of new experiences and friendships. Before even having stepped on a college campus I watched YouTube videos about college life, so I thought I had the next four years mapped out perfectly for how it would go. I would make friends, and those friends would become my sisters, we’d study late at night, have sleepovers in each other’s dorms, go to a few parties here and there if we wanted to, bake cookies, watch movies, maybe find our Channing Tatum’s, graduate and boom four years just like that. However, that is not how the story unfolded at all. My college experience consisted of me losing my best friend in high school, I picked up smoking as a full-time habit, hung around the wrong crowds, partied every weekend, sought external validation from men based on what I wore and how I looked, kissed a girl, kissed a homeless guy, found myself entertaining a conversation with a married guy, started watching for porn, cried a lot and took a break from college. Yeah, college was something alright. But it wasn’t all bad, college was when Christ found me and I made the commitment to having a relationship with him, made a few cookies here and there, found a couple of friends that brought out the best in me, had movie nights with friends every Sunday, God blessed me with the opportunity to work with kids, my brother who I hadn’t seen in three years came to live with my roommate and I, picked up sketching as a hobby, and started this website, and learned a lot of life lessons along the way. Throughout this whole experience, I’ve learned that life hardly ever turns out how we imagine. I went into college thinking that it would be smooth and nothing but laughs and joy, instead along the way I cried a lot and made a lot of decisions that didn’t align with who I was or how I wanted to be. In fact, before I gave my life to Christ everything I mentioned above was all things that I thought would make me happy, the validation, the numbing of the pain, parties, but if anything those were the things that made me feel empty. There was no source of happiness or peace from seeking those desires if anything it left me wanting more of the world. It took me hitting rock bottom until I could make the conscious decision, to be honest with myself and ask myself if I was really happy or if I was just pretending. And when I was able to decipher between the two was when I believe God manifested himself in my life like never before. Little by little he started to remove the things in my life that never aligned with the person he created me to be. The saying come as you are was exactly where God met me. I used to think I had to be perfect for God to use me, but God began to use and transform me the moment I accepted him into my life. While I was still smoking weed, while I was still going out to parties, while I was still, seeking validation from the world. He was there ready to take on all of my problems as his own. John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” This verse means that when you're ready to accept the life that God has for you he’ll be there to pick up your cross and give you a life more than you could ask think or imagine.

Little by little God would give me the solution to my problems, and admittedly some of them called me to get out of my comfort zone, and some of them would make me cry, but in the end, all of them gave me peace, love, and happiness. Accepting God into my life was the best decision I ever made, there’s going to be good days and there’s are going to be hard days. But I’d rather take a hard day with God, than a hard day without him. For everything I’ve been through I thank God because I think he knew that for me to want and I mean really want a different path than the one I was heading down towards I needed to hit work bottom, I needed to know and experience what life without him looked like, and because of how good and loving he is he let me do it my way. One thing about God is that he always gives us a choice if we want to go out of his will for our life, It’ll makes him sad because he loves us so much. At the end of the day he allows us to choose, and I don’t know about you, but I choose God, for as long as I’m here till, I chose him. As my story continues, I would like to make it known that I am not perfect and everyone’s story and journey looks different; consciously seeking a relationship with Christ is one of the best decisions you can make, it fills that void in your heart and soul that we try so many times to ill with the pleasures of this world. I’ll leave you with this verse that is my favorite verse, Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you a hope and a future. This verse reminds me every day that I have a God who loves me so much and because he loves me my future is secured in his love

Conclusion

Life is a journey of highs and lows, and our experiences are the threads that connect us all, shaping us into the people we are meant to become. My journey through life has led me to a profound relationship with God, one that has brought light to the darkest corners of my existence. I share my story to inspire others to seek the transformative power of faith and to embrace the love and guidance that God offers to all of His children. Remember, giving your life to Christ is not about achieving perfection, but about embarking on a journey towards a better life—a life filled with purpose, hope, and the knowledge that you are indeed a child of God. My story is not a tale of personal perfection or an easy solution to life's challenges but as a testament to the incredible work that God continues to do in my life every single day. It's an invitation to those who may be searching for meaning, purpose, and direction in their lives.